Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize