It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
