She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
