Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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