youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
