I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
