I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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