It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
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High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
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There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.