You're completely useless in the revolution.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.