great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
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My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
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If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.