Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning

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(415): View more from California

Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok

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(319): View more from Iowa

he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(219): View more from Indiana

He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?

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(862): View more from New Jersey

I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.

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(940): View more from Texas

I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.

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(928): View more from Arizona

Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.

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