If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN