He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
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I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
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My bed is full of blood and feathers
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human