i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Randomize
