She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.