Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She's the barista slut.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
