fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
