I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
