Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
