Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
