Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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