Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just cropdusted the office
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
