I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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