Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
