Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
