dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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