Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
