if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
