I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
