please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
