Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
