he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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