I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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