My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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