Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
