Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
did i walk over a car last night?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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