you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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