i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
