he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Your penis caused this!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize