He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
