he shaved USA in his pubs
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.