possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
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I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
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I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect