please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
