I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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