I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
