Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
