I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
