Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
