He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
