the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
