I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
