he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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