i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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