dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
