dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
