need another drink. this is the easiest way
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
