I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
