Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
