how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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