Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
