she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
