I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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