Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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