I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
be right there i have to get my cape
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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