Do you still have your period?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
