i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize