you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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