I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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