I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
