oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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