real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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