Please, let me fuck your mom
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
