She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
