Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
