she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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